He knew the right thing to do
Shout for Jesus, the son of David to have mercy on Him.
He was there when the blind man screamed his name.
Perhaps he should jump and hold him as he passed by
Just as his neighbor, the woman with the issue of blood, did.
But he stayed rooted, eyes numb, tongue tied.
He tried to say the words but it choked him
“Ask Him for help!”, His mind screamed
But he couldn’t; they didn’t see the monster threatening him to keep shut
He couldn’t tell them that he had killed his fellow-man.
That He had done abominable things, too big to confess.
He could not tell them that even Jesus would be unable to stomach the stench of condemnation that hung on him.
Jesus was two feet away from Him and in terror, He fled.
Up into a tree, unable to look into a perfect God’s face.
Closing his eyes so tight, He tried to forget everything happening around him
The Monster. This Jesus. His mind. His family. Everyone!
Perhaps he should hang himself by dawn tomorrow. Or drown in the waters of Zarqa
“Breathe!” “Call Him!” “Say something.
He felt a hand touch his forehead, and saw the kindest eyes ever seen.
The savior beckoning him to come
“I must stay at your house today”, Jesus whispered…
He wept, He laughed, He made sounds of joy
He knew he would never be the same
He knew he was changed.
I descend into darkest depths
My eyes twitching clear from the smoke of meth
The woes I try to shove into a suitcase out in the open
I laugh bleakly, how does a Bishop girl say that she was raped by her brothers
Or that She was warmth for her Dad on cold nights
My hand moves towards another dose
Real life issues, real life Kush
I smoke, this time too hard
And I feel the soot hit a nerve in my brain
My blood running cold, veins bulging out,
I hold a few of my sane thoughts before giving in to the insanity that grips me
I laugh consciously, I know I’d keep laughing awhile
I feel the heat of madness ravish my bones and I surrender in defeat…
——SAY NO TO DRUGS——–
© Ayobami Ajayi, 2018
The monster gazed at me with an ugly smirk
His lips covered with blood and his claws so dark
I sang the words I had learnt just yesterday
“…No longer a slave to fear…A child of God?”
Puff! I gasped in pain
With His menacing blows, I laid on the floor slain
It was supposed to work right?
The words were supposed to take me on a flight
Far far away like Cinderella in the castle.
He walked away, having drunk his fill of me
He pulled my hair and promised another repeat…
This could not go on. What did I do wrong?
How do I escape? Where was the man with the white cape?
And sure enough He came…a figment or so I thought
“Did you use the word?” He asked me
“Of course I did”, I spat in disgust
I memorised them. I sang them. I whispered them.
He sighed…”Well, did you eat them? Till your spirit and soul were drunk with them?”
“Did you chew them deliberately? Till they became tattoos on your skin?”
“Did you become the word’s word? Till your heart rather than blood pumped the word’s ink?”
And sure enough I did
And with every gulp, my head rose up an inch
Yes! Yes! A Son….Not a slave, my Spirit renewed my mind
And this time I picked up my club…
Walked boldly into the enemy’s hub.
While I beamed this time, it was he who flinched.
© Ayobami Ajayi.
Somehow I knew you couldn’t stay
Though we had ‘great moments’ accompanied with passion at its peak
But I knew you were not mine to keep
For I was cheating on Him-my Husband
Those nights when he went quiet, I sought you
And I would inhale you deeply like you were my hemp
Indeed you were my high and I was the chain smoker
And night after night, I reduced myself from His bride to a hooker
My spirit diced ad diced into a hollow shadow
For I could not serve two masters
Could not swear love to him with the lips that kissed you some five minutes ago
So let us make a toast to my farewell speech
Here is to better days with Hubs and less nights with you
Here’s to a lot of bended knees in prayers to my King
I would no longer be drawn by your touch or seduced by your winks…
Raise your glass Lucifer; this is goodbye
© Ayobami Ajayi (2017)
I watched as my reflection burned
Starting from my heart to the whole of me
Slowly, as I said those words of surrender
Opened my eyes and found a pool of my tears
Tears that had stained the altar till they turned bright crimson
His blood for mine; I could almost taste it in the wine spooned to my lips
Death transcending to life; spirits exchanged
Cadre changed; darkness to light; slave to son…..
I watched as my last ruins melt into black soot
Taking with it the condemnation of my gory past.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, just a second had passed.
I could hear the Pastor’s voice in between
In broken tune with my new heart beat.
“You’re born again”, He whispered
“I am born again” I affirmed
©Ayobami Ajayi 2018
“He that believes” …
Words so simple, yet profound
Wrapped in cracked breaths of surrender
The man who believes, never condemned
Echoes of faith beckoning eternal life
The spirit ruling, speaking in new tongues
He who believes
Name written in blood, etched red in the book of life
Never erased, kept and sealed
Co-heirs, priceless in His sight
The man who believes
Seated far above, saved in the arms of a perfect saviour
Authority given, kingdoms for the taking
In the name of the son, hearts ablaze
He that believes,
Arms outstretched, fragrance of His breath
Life, brightness in a dead world
The power of God in a man
The move of God by his hands
Healing to nations, darkness dispelled by light
He that believes
Life abundant, chosen, pleasing to God
Accepted. By Faith
Forever. The man who believes.
© Ayobami Ajayi, 2018