Unworthy

He knew the right thing to do
Shout for Jesus, the son of David to have mercy on Him.
He was there when the blind man screamed his name.
Perhaps he should jump and hold him as he passed by
Just as his neighbor, the woman with the issue of blood, did.
But he stayed rooted, eyes numb, tongue tied.
He tried to say the words but it choked him
“Ask Him for help!”, His mind screamed
But he couldn’t; they didn’t see the monster threatening him to keep shut
He couldn’t tell them that he had killed his fellow-man.
That He had done abominable things, too big to confess.
He could not tell them that even Jesus would be unable to stomach the stench of condemnation that hung on him.
Jesus was two feet away from Him and in terror, He fled.
Up into a tree, unable to look into a perfect God’s face.
Closing his eyes so tight, He tried to forget everything happening around him
The Monster. This Jesus. His mind. His family. Everyone!
Perhaps he should hang himself by dawn tomorrow. Or drown in the waters of Zarqa
“Breathe!” “Call Him!” “Say something.

Zacchaeus!”
He felt a hand touch his forehead, and saw the kindest eyes ever seen.
The savior beckoning him to come
“I must stay at your house today”, Jesus whispered…
He wept, He laughed, He made sounds of joy
He knew he would never be the same
He knew he was changed.

©Ayobami Ajayi

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